Climate Change Denial Candle
Presenting the Climate Change Denial Candle - a fragrance so potent, it’ll transport you back to a time when rising temperatures were just summer vibes and melting ice caps were simply science fiction. Perfect for those who prefer their facts alternative and their data cherry-picked.
Scent Profile:
Top Notes: A refreshing burst of ignorance blended with the faint aroma of fossil fuels and a dash of corporate lobbying.
Middle Notes: The comforting scent of freshly cut rainforest timber, mixed with the subtle undertones of plastic straws and single-use convenience.
Base Notes: Deep, lingering notes of coastal erosion, paired with a whisper of endangered species and the distant cry of polar bears.
Features:
Burn Time: Approximately as long as a televised debate segment where all the experts are ignored.
Wax: Crafted from a unique blend of paraffin and petroleum byproducts, because why not embrace the irony?
Wick: A sturdy, carbon-emitting cotton wick, designed to burn as steadily as your steadfast refusal to accept scientific consensus.
Usage:
Ignite your Climate Change Denial Candle whenever you need to channel your inner contrarian. Ideal for use during heated discussions at family gatherings, while writing strongly worded comments on social media, or any time you’re watching documentaries with a skeptical eye.
Warning:
Keep away from renewable energy sources and anyone who’s ever read a scientific journal.
May cause increased levels of cognitive dissonance, denial-induced headaches, and an overwhelming need to argue with strangers online.
Experience the blissful ignorance of the Climate Change Denial Candle - because nothing says comfort like pretending everything is just fine.
.: Materials: 100% natural soy wax blend, 100% cotton wick and a glass jar
.: Compliant with ASTM safety standards
.: One size: 2.8″ × 3.5" (7.1cm × 8.9cm)
.: Burning time: 50-60 hours
.: Glossy permanent adhesive label
.: Choose from nine different aromatic scents
.: Assembled in the USA from globally sourced parts
.: Please note: All scents have the same wax color
